Kids and Chores…What ARE Chores?
I write about kids and chores a lot around here. Mostly because, well, our kiddos do a lot of chores around here. {smile} And my chore posts seem to generate the most comments and questions! As we move toward the summer, and I have to start thinking about our traditional summer chore assignment change-ups, I thought I’d take a few posts to address some of the common questions that we get when folks see how helpful and useful and valuable our crew is around here.
And the very first topic that always seems to come up is what exactly do our children do, for chores. What constitutes “chores” around here. And do they ever do any inside housework? {smile} Oh yes, they do.
We use “chores” to mean regular, repeating, independent responsibilities that contribute to running the house and homestead. I’ve read a lot of articles about renaming chores to something more positive and progressive like “home helpers” or “responsibilities and rewards”…eh…{shrug} If that works for you, great. Around here we’re trying to defy the mindset that “work” is a four-letter word, so we don’t mind if “chores” don’t sound like fun. We’re trying to grow a family here, not re-brand an industry.
So let’s take a look at that definition in parts for a few moments…
1. Regular and Repeating
Chores around here are things that come up every day or every week. Some of them twice a day–like feeding and watering. We can specifically assign them to one person and create a routine around doing them.
Daily for us that means:
- Feeding and watering the dog
- Feeding and watering the sheep and cows (feeding only in winter)
- Feeding and watering the chickens (including the scrap bowl)
- Gathering and washing eggs
- Emptying the kitchen counter compost bin
- Emptying and loading the dishwasher
- Loading, switching, and emptying the laundry (yes, every. single. day.)
- Putting away clothes
- Making the beds
- Sweeping the kitchen floor
- Taking out the kitchen trash
- Setting and clearing the table at meals
- Cooking meals
And Weekly for us that means:
- Cleaning out chicken house nesting boxes
- Weeding the garden
- Changing all the bed sheets
- Cleaning the porches
- Mopping the floors
- Empty the little inside trash cans
- Scrubbing the bathrooms
2. Independent
This means that the end goal of this assignment is for the person to carry it out alone, with minimal supervision. They rarely start out that way, but the whole idea is to train the kiddos to be able to do their jobs without hollering for Momma. (Need some help in this area? I got into some specifics with 6 Tips for Raising Hard Workers.)
3. Responsibilities
This goes hand-in-hand with independent, as well as our core belief that children need meaningful work. We don’t make our children do chores because we think they are bored, or spend too much time playing video games, or need to cultivate a grateful attitude. We have them do chores because the work is necessary and teaches them responsibility. Our children learn that if their chore is not done, there are consequences and they are held accountable for those.
And by far the most important…
4. Contribute to the running of the home and homestead
If the work you’re assigning your kiddos is not meaningful, not important, not valuable…if no one notices if it’s not done on the schedule you set…you’re giving them the wrong jobs. I realize that not everyone has a farm to use for these lessons in life, but quite frankly, it’s not necessary. If someone doesn’t do the laundry, no one has clean socks. If someone doesn’t load the dishwasher, we get ants in the sink. If someone doesn’t empty the trash the kitchen stinks.
And yes, if you don’t feed or water the animals, they die. If you don’t gather and wash the eggs, they got rotten and, well, just…yuck! If you don’t clean the nesting boxes than you have to reach into them to get the eggs anyway…and again, yuck! Our kiddos know that someone has to do their job. That job has to get done, every day, for the good of the whole family and farm. They know we depend on them to do their chores so that we don’t have to do them because they have to be done every day.
That’s what chores are around here. Not busy work. Not punishment. Not even a lesson in life skills. That’s just icing on the cake around here. Chores are jobs that the whole family pitches in to help with for the good of us all, no ulterior motives necessary.
Our kiddos also just get assigned what we call “jobs” around here. Carrying and unloading groceries. Washing the car. Cleaning the garage. Helping someone else with their chores. Stuff that’s not every day, but still part of running the household. Our kiddos do those “jobs” every day too.
What we don’t call chores
Can I just vent for a minute?
Personal hygiene and simply cleaning up after yourself is not a chore and doesn’t belong on a “chore chart.” It’s a daily action. It’s a routine. It’s important. But it has no relation to real, contributing, working around the house. Brushing your teeth, putting your dirty laundry in the hamper, cleaning your own dishes, picking up your own toys…these are not chores. they’re simply habits children need to learn. We need to raise the bar a little, friends. Let’s stop mixing these basic habits of cleanliness up with meaningful work–our children are capable of both!
Vent over! {smile}
Have you thought your way through chore routines yet? If your kiddos are old enough to walk, I think you should! Our munchkins were helping with laundry as soon as they could walk and took on independently feeding the cat twice a day at 2. Trust me, they can do it!
Fantastic points! I wholeheartedly agree with your rant! Our son is only 19 months old, but is already helping with chores and self care. He helps to vacuum, pick up his laundry, gets his tooth brush and bushes his teeth, and tidies up his toys. We do reward him though! We sometimes clap and say ‘yay! Good job!’ He gets really excited about it and claps, too. I guess that’s not really a reward, but rather recognition. It works though – he gets really excited about doing chores/self care activities 🙂
We think rewards are great–if they are genuine to the value of the work being done. And I think appreciation and recongnition are under appreciated in parenting these days. We need our kiddos to grow up appreciating intangible rewards as well as tangible rewards–that’s what adult is all about!
Jamie, I so appreciate what you shared here. Thank you!! It’s good to know that there are others that have the same convictions as yourself. The same goals to raise happy, healthy children, that are an asset to not only their own self, their family, society, but also to their future family. Thank you. Well written!
Thanks for reading! We need to focus on preparing our children to be well-balanced adults for the rest of their lives–NOT filling their childhood with unrealistic expectations of constant recreation and then they wake up one day and slam into a brick wall of “the real world.” Regular chores and work doesn’t mean they don’t also have time for fun, games, and play.
Great post! I wish every parent would read this and take it to heart! 🙂
We know all about chores here 🙂
Can’t live on a farm without them.
Great post!
This is a great list. Thank you so much. And Congrats You are featured at Good Tips Tuesday this week!
http://abirdandabean.com/2014/04/good-tips-tuesday-2.html
Thanks–I enjoy all the great posts I find at your link up!