If you follow us on Facebook, you might have seen some of our summer posts about Mr. Fix-It and me leading a VBS class together this past summer. Not just being someone else’s helper, but planning, teaching, and leading our own class. Serving together. It was a completely new experience for us, as individuals and as a couple. I’ll just come right out and admit that I was nervous. One, because it was new. And two, because Mr. Fix-It and I are very different personality-wise, and this kind of activity really, really highlights those differences.

I’m a planner (literally, my job titles for the last 13 years have all included “Planner” or “Project Manager” in some form or another)…at the office job I’m supposed to plan 10, 20, 30, even 40 years out! Mr. Fix-It? Um, no. He totally operates in the moment. When we’re going out of town for the weekend, I usually ask him Friday morning what time we’re leaving tonight and he tells me, “I don’t know, I’ll give you a call this afternoon and let you know what things look like.” NOT JOKING, my friend, not joking.

But as with the farm and so many other things in our life together, it’s quite a complementary situation!

I do the paperwork, he does the hands-on work. (Did you see the awesome wagon and campfire?)

I do the book teaching, he does the relational teaching.

Then we were asked to consider teaching a Wednesday night bible club class for 4th-6th grade through the school year. (Our church uses the Master’s Club program.) I helped a very experienced friend in the class last year, and this year they asked Mr. Fix-It and me to teach together when she stepped down from that ministry. Whew! Out of the pot and into the fire! {smile} We prayed and accepted and have two weeks under our belts now and I see the same dynamic forming. We’re each able to work within our strengths and work together, and it works.

Our church has a lot of husband/wife “teams” that serve together. They set a fine example for the rest of us! While serving the Lord is always a good thing, I think serving as a couple offers a lot of special value to the experience. Here are a few things I’ve noticed about serving TOGETHER, particularly as a couple (but also as a family!)…

It gives you more time together

The time you commit to planning, the time traveling to and from your ministry location, the time in your ministry…these are all moments you are now sharing with your spouse rather than apart from them. This is the time you’ve redeemed back to your relationship!

It reduces the “busyness” of serving as a family. 

Serving together immediately reduces the number of people going in different directions on any given day.

It sets an excellent example of marriage for your children (and other children!)

This is so important! Our munchkins see us committed to each other and working together to serve the Lord. That’s a big deal! And you don’t necessarily know the home situation of your students either, so you’re setting an example of Godly conduct for them as well.

It sets a good example of marriage for other couples

This is not so much anything we’ve done, as how we’ve been impacted by the other couples we’ve seen serving together. It’s inspiring and encouraging. And it’s a great opportunity to grow in your relationship.

It provides for more spiritual growth

Any ministry can allow personal growth, but there is an element of…hmm…honesty?…involved when you’re serving with your spouse. They’re not afraid to disagree, to push you to new limits, to provide feedback, to tell you no, or suggest that you change directions or that something isn’t working. And they hold you accountable–they know if you are truly prepared if you’ve been doing your reading and devotions if you met your commitments if you’re doing your best or not.

It provides for more growth as a couple

A shared ministry means you’re studying the same things, you’re reading the same materials, and you have more to discuss, decide, investigate, talk about, plan for, and pray over…all things that can bring you closer together and improve your walk with the Lord at the same time. Plus it gives you a concrete, can’t-be-put-off, reason to share deep, meaningful conversations, which are usually the first thing to fly out the window for a busy couple! You are pushed to continue to connect on spiritual issues.  You’re intimately sharing part of your own spiritual journey with your spouse on a regular basis…a real picture of oneness.

It improves your ministry

As I said above, most couples learn to function in a very complimentary way, and your ministry benefits from that. In teaching, a male and female perspective and example are helpful since our students are boys and girls. Being able to balance bookwork and hands-on activities means we’re able to connect with students’ strengths in either area. Working together at home to plan and execute your ministry means you have your spouse to spark creative ideas off of and you’re not limited to your own experiences or strengths. You also have a different perspective to spot problems from.

It provides encouragement

Serving in general provides encouragement and helps you step out of your personal issues and problems and focus on others. Serving together means you’re both getting that experience and you have each other to ask for help when you need it. There’s a feeling of teamwork and you’re not alone in your struggles.

It creates a shared purpose

You’re working toward the same goal, that’s pretty clear. But that means you also share the same sense of accomplishment when you get there, and that’s priceless!

It’s fun!

As a couple, it’s easier to plan fellowships and socialize around and in conjunction with your ministry. You’re interacting with the same group of people, you know each other’s schedules, you know if your house is clean (!), and you’re not having to split time between multiple projects. You both know what’s going on with each other so there are fewer schedule conflicts or limited resources.

And really, didn’t you marry that person because you liked being around them?

Marriage is such a learning, growing, and challenging experience…and this is a new chapter for us. I would love to hear about your experiences serving as a couple–including any advice for us newbies! Did you see any other special benefits?

I’ll have a farm update tomorrow–we’re getting into harvest season, you know. In the meantime, feel free to sign up for our newsletter. I know my posting has been sporadic while we got into a groove this summer, so if you sign up, you’ll get a weekly update on our posts–you won’t miss anything without having to hop over every day. And, if we don’t post anything, you don’t get anything! No spam! Ever!

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