The Value of Serving TOGETHER
If you follow us on Facebook, you might have seen some of our summer posts about Mr. Fix-It and I leading a VBS class together this past summer. Not just being someone else’s helper, but planning, teaching, and leading our own class. Together. It was a completely new experience for us, as individuals and as a couple. I’ll just come right out and admit that I was nervous. One, because it was new. And two, because Mr. Fix-It and I are very different personality-wise and this kind of activity really, really highlights those differences. I’m a planner (literally, my job titles for the last 13 years have all included “Planner” or “Project Manager” in some form or another)…at my office job I’m supposed to plan 10, 20, 30, even 40 years out! Mr. Fix-It? Um, no. He totally operates in the moment. When we’re going out-of-town for the weekend, I usually ask him Friday morning what time we’re leaving tonight and he tells me, “I don’t know, I’ll give you a call this afternoon and let you know what things look like.” NOT JOKING, my friend, not joking.
But as with the farm and so many other things in our life together, it’s quite a complementary situation!
I do the paperwork, he does the hands-on work. (Did you see the awesome wagon and campfire?)
I do the book-teaching, he does the relational-teaching.
Then we were asked to consider teaching a Wednesday night bible club class for 4th-6th grade through the school year. (Our church uses the Master’s Club program.) I helped a very experienced friend in the class last year, and this year they asked Mr. Fix-It and I to teach together when she stepped down from that ministry. Whew! Out of the pot and into the fire! {smile} We prayed and accepted and have two weeks under our belts now and I see the same dynamic forming. We’re each able to work within our strengths, and work together, and it works.
Our church has a lot of husband/wife “teams” that serve together. They set a fine example for the rest of us! While serving the Lord is always a good thing, I think serving as a couple offers a lot of special value to the experience. Here’s a few things I’ve noticed about serving TOGETHER, particularly as a couple (but also as a family!)…
- It gives you more time together. The time you commit to planning, the time traveling to and from your ministry location, the time in your ministry…these are all moments you are now sharing with your spouse rather than apart from them. This is time you’ve redeemed back to your relationship!
- It reduces the “busyness” of serving as a family. Serving together immediately reduces the number of people going in different directions on any give day.
- It sets an excellent example of marriage for your children (and other children!). This is so important! Our munchkins see us committed to each other and working together serving the Lord. That’s a big deal! And you don’t necessarily know the home situation your students either, so you’re setting an example of Godly conduct for them as well.
- It sets a good example of marriage for other couples. This is not so much anything we’ve done, as how we’ve been impacted by the other couples we’ve seen serving together. It’s inspiring. It’s encouraging. It’s an opportunity to learn.
- It provides for more spiritual growth. Any ministry can allow personal growth, but there is an element of…hmm…honesty?…involved when you’re serving with your spouse. They’re not afraid to disagree, to push you to new limits, to provide feedback, to tell you no or suggest that you change directions or that something isn’t working. And they hold you accountable–they know if you truly prepared, if you’ve been doing your reading and devotions, if you met your commitments, if you’re doing your best or not.
- It provides for more growth as a couple. A shared ministry means you’re studying the same things, you’re reading the same materials, you have more to discuss, decide, investigate, talk about, plan for, pray over…all things that can bring you closer together and improve your walk with the Lord at the same time. Plus it gives you a concrete, can’t be put off, reason to share deep, meaningful conversations, which are usually the first thing to fly out the window for a busy couple! It pushes you to continue to connect on spiritual issues. It means you’re intimately sharing part of your own spiritual journey with your spouse on a regular basis…a real picture of oneness.
- It improves your ministry. As I said above, most couples learn to function in a very complimentary way, and your ministry benefits from that. In teaching, a male and female perspective and example is helpful since our students are boys and girls. Being able to balance book work and hands on activities means we’re able to connect with students strengths in either area. Working together at home to plan and execute your ministry means you have your spouse to spark creative ideas off of and you’re not limited to your own experiences or strengths. You also have a different perspective to spot problems from.
- It provides encouragement. Serving in general provides encouragement and helps you step out of your personal issues and problems and focus on others. Serving together means you’re both getting that experience and you have each other to ask for help when you need it. There’s a feeling of teamwork and you’re not alone in your struggles.
- It creates a shared purpose. You’re working toward the same goal, that’s pretty clear. But that means you also share the same sense of accomplishment when you get there, and that’s priceless!
- It’s fun! As a couple, it’s easier to plan fellowships and socializing around and in conjunction with your ministry. You’re interacting with the same group of people, you know each other’s schedules, you know if your house is clean (!), and you’re not having to split time between multiple projects. You both know what’s going on with each other so there’s less schedule conflicts or limited resources.
And really, didn’t you marry that person because you liked being around them?
Marriage is such a learning, growing, challenging experience…and this is a new chapter for us. I would love to hear your experiences serving as a couple–including any advice for us newbies! Did you see any other special benefits?
Now that we’re teaching, Mr. Fix-It is carrying around all these books and materials. I’d love to be able to find him some kind of bag to help him stay organized, but he’s not really a bag person. And he certainly wouldn’t want anything that smacked of “purse.” If you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them. I usually do my bag and luggage shopping at ebags, but I’m a little overwhelmed with where to even begin on this one! (Luck for me Christmas is a long ways off!)
I’ll have a farm update tomorrow–we’re getting into harvest season, you know. In the mean time, feel free to sign up for our newsletter. I know my posting has been sporadic while we got into a groove this summer, so if you sign up, you’ll get a weekly update on our posts–you won’t miss anything without having to hop over every day. AND, if we don’t post anything, you don’t get anything! No spam! Ever!
See where I’m sharing this week…
What an interesting article – this has something that has been playing around my mind for a while – My hubby and I have just been writing our first on-line Bible study through my blog and I feel it is the start of serving together and your article has been really helpful – thank you 🙂
Thank you! We are enjoying the experience and it’s been a great mix of challenging and encouraging in our walk with the Lord.
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