Have you ever heard of chaos theory and the butterfly effect? The idea that there are so many teeny-tiny variables that effect things that you can’t actually predict what will happen, or determine which action caused the final outcome. How often do we tread this course of (hysterically) over-analyzing when things go wrong?
What did I do?
What didn’t I do?
What could I have done?
What should I have done?
{SIGH}
How often do I forget that none of these things I worry about so incessantly are actually in my control (especially if they’re already done!)? How often do I forget that God’s power is made perfect in my weakness-not in my strength. Not in my perfect problem-solving ability. Not in my magical management of my own life.
I have to admit, submission and obedience don’t come easily to me. The idea that God honors my weakness and not my strength is a hard concept for me to swallow. The idea that He doesn’t want me to handle it on my own feels totally foreign to me.
“And he said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmaries, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecution, in distresses for Christ’s sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong.” (2 Corinthians 12:9-10)
But here’s what I’m finding…it’s easier for me to submit my will to His when I meditate on His strengths. When I fill my mind with His power, His wonders and miracles, when I cultivate appropriate respect and awe for His glorious works…When I remind myself that even on my best day, He’s got me beat.
Know what else doesn’t come easy for me? Humility.
Know what’s finally helping me to truly put my pride to death?
Parenting.
Whether it’s the total defeats or the utmost victories, when I look at my kids I know there’s nothing I could ever do that would compare to the miracle He worked with their creation.
“For thou hast possessed my reins: thou hast covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise thee; for I am fearfully and wonderfully made: marvelous are thy works; and that my soul knoweth right well. My substance was not hid from thee, when I was made in secret, and curiously wrought in the lowest parts of the earth. Thine eyes did see my substance, yet being unperfect; and in thy book all my members were written, which in continuance were fashioned, when as yet there was none of them.” (Psalms 139: 13-116)
They came home from school the other day talking about what they’re going to be when they grow up.
The Ladybug thought she wanted to be a teacher, but now she wants to be a doctor–a doctor for little kids. So she’s going to be a “pee-dee-ah-tris-tan“.
And the Cowboy wants to be a doctor too, but also a farmer, because we’re farmers and that’s what we do. So he’s going to be a “vet-err-in-air-ee-an.”
And Speedracer? He’s going to be Optimus Prime. And if that doesn’t work out, then he’s going to be “a racecar driver with a big blue helmet.”
And me? What do I want to be when I grow up?
Whatever God wants me to be–because He’s clearly much better at this than I am!
