I don’t talk much about work here. Actually, besides mentioning that I work full time and it makes our schedule kinda crazy, it’s something I sort of keep away from here. (And I don’t see that changing, don’t worry! I know not everyone shares my passion for discussing the visual characteristics of hardi-board siding, or the correlation between the depth of porches and community crime rates, or the impact of paved shoulders vs dedicated bike lanes on commuter traffic patterns.)
But I’ve been chatting with my sister lately and something I do see coming up more around here is balancing the chaos of being a Christian working mother. It’s something that weights heavy on my heart and consumes huge amounts of my time and energy (and tears). (
And occasionally keeps me from posting here!)
There have been posts on the tip of my proverbial tongue that I’ve left as drafts because it just choked the breath out of me to try and finish them. Like the physical pain of leaving our home daycare provider of 7 years that last day before Speedracer started school.
Or the nausea of anxiety that strikes when you have to discuss the whole kids sick–can’t afford to miss work–kids need me–office deadlines–I need to be home with them–I need to be at my desk…
Or the self-loathing that comes with looking at your kitchen floor and realizing that there’s enough fur-balls down there to create a whole second dog and you just. don’t. care. I mean really, who want’s to read that?
But here’s the thing. I’ve gotten through and past so much of that. I’ve learned to accept some things, and fight like a berserk for some things, and take a deep breath in between. I’m learning how to prioritize–the right way!
I’m learning a very tough, tough form of humility…realizing that everything that seems so darn important at the office all day is really so NOT important in the big scheme of things and that being “successful” at my office job is not necessarily going to impress God when we’re discussing my lifetime of work and deeds on the Judgement Day. (Also known as “perspective,” right? {grin})
I’m learning that “organizing” is a loaded word and that systems need to be run through our own personal reality check before we invest our precious time in them.
Family shoe basket in the mudroom? Brilliant solution!
Color-coded, inbox/outbox filing trays for each family member? Not so much.
And those are things worth talking about. Things worth thinking about and getting feedback about. Things worth writing down and figuring out and editing and re-writing until you make sense of it.
I am a Christian wife and mother, who just happens to also work full-time outside the home.
That’s the only way to keep my balance.
