You know, I’ve felt pretty beaten up, spiritually speaking, this summer.
I’ve missed my parents and longed for their steady guidance desperately.
I’ve floundered with this school change–speaking acceptance out of my mouth while my heart and mind struggled frantically against it.
I’ve prayed, oh how much I’ve prayed, and then rebelled against the answers I heard. My actions reluctantly followed directions, but my heart was still looking for any crack or hole to slip out of, any weakness in the wall to exploit, any excuse to change directions.
Let’s just be honest–submission’s not really my forte. I was raised with more of a “never give up, never give in, and die fighting” philosophy.
It’s a good philosophy if you’re fighting the good fight. But fighting against God (and/or your husband, as may apply!) isn’t the good fight.
I wrote that final check for the kiddo’s new school year the other day and spoke at length with the secretary at the school about what their day will be like–how lunchtime works, what extended care will be like, how drop off and pick up works–just everything to understand their day in this new place.
And I left thinking, they are going to be in a good place.
As I drove back to work, I cried.
And I finally let go and admitted to the Lord, thank you! Thank you! This isn’t what I wanted, but this is the path we are on, and now I can see that it’s good. I’m sorry I wasted so much energy fighting it. I’ve been living under fear, not grace. Thank you for not giving up on me!
At prayer meeting last night we had testimonies and sang the old hymn, Farther Along. Do you know that one? Oh my, the Lord was just holding my hand so tightly…
Tempted and tried we’re oft made to wonderWhy it should be thus all the day long
While there are others living about us
Never molested though in the wrong Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We’ll understand it all by and by When death has come and taken our loved ones
It leaves our home so lonely and drear
Then do we wonder why others prosper
Living so wicked year after year Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We’ll understand it all by and by
As I listened to the prayer requests around me, then the testimonies of joy and grace and blessings and 20 years of marriage and 35 years of marriage and 58 years of marriage, and expectations for new life and new salvation…I thought, my life is so good, we are so blessed!
In the light of eternity, how many of our trials today turn out to be but grains of sand?
Faithful til death, said our loving MasterA few more days to labor and wait
Toils of the road will then seem as nothing
As we sweep through that beautiful gate Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We’ll understand it all by and by When we see Jesus coming in glory
When he comes down from his home in the sky
Then we shall meet him in that bright mansion
We’ll understand it all by and by Farther along we’ll know all about it
Farther along we’ll understand why
Cheer up my brother live in the sunshine
We’ll understand it all by and by
So thankful today for the simple peace of the Lord.
What are you thankful for today?
