It’s no secret that our farm kids do a lot of work and chores around here. They are preparing to manage their own family and property one day and hands-on practice is the best teaching tool I know of. Our goal is to send self-motivated, diligent, hard-workers out into the world. But it’s easy to get into the daily grind and start to feel like all you do it work, work, sweat, and work, and then you start to lose motivation. I know–I feel it too sometimes! Much like our preferred use of natural consequences, we try to teach self-motivation through natural rewards. Sure, we could fill sticker charts and go for ice cream or buy a toy…but that seems short-sighted. As adults, you can’t run out and buy something every time you start to feel overworked and under motivated! It takes more time and effort, but we’re trying to teach the children that their work provides its own rewards. You just have to look harder to see and appreciate them!

What are Natural Rewards?

That would be positive outcomes that flow directly from the effort put in. “You’ve worked really hard in the garden today, let’s go to a movie.” That’s definitely a reward, and you’ve connected it to their work, but it’s not naturally related. In the long-term, the problem is that you’re actual de-valuing the work itself. You’re making it just busy work. Meaningless, instead of meaningful. Just another checkbox to get to what you want. Not a strong recipe for self-motivation.

How about “You’ve worked really hard in the garden today, let’s pick some of those fresh strawberries and make shortcakes!” Now you’ve rewarded the behavior as well as provided value to the work. The garden has a purpose, the garden work has a purpose, and your reward comes directly that purpose.

Ok, gardening is the easy example. It’s a great illustration, but not everyone has a garden. {smile} This is why I said using natural rewards takes more time and effort on the parents’ part. You have to get your heart and mind right, and then you have to spend the extra time setting a good example for the children to follow.

[bctt tweet=”Work provides its own rewards…you just have to look harder to appreciate them! ” username=”va_grown”]

You Need the Right Heart and Mindset

As the parent, you have to set the tone in the household regarding work. You’re setting the example. You’re the inspiration. Are you sighing and grumbling at the chores that have to be done? (Um…guilty…sigh…) Are you too busy to take time for rest and enjoyment of your accomplishments? (Yep…me…again…) Are you too critical to provide praise when deserved–for yourself or family members? (Ok, this one is not so much me…but others in this house, yes…)

More is caught, than taught.

There is so much to be done when it comes to running and managing a home. The work is never ending. It is. You have to approach it with balance and patience and give your best effort to be the diligent, self-motivated, hard-working person you want your kids to turn out to be.

Thank God for GRACE, right?! {smile}

The point is that they are going to absorb so much of this mindset from you, you need to check your heart and mind before you worry about stickers and cake for everyone else. One thing I’ve learned from our three strong-willed kiddos is that they can spot a faker from 10 miles away! Not sure how to get back on track? Head over to our 10 Heart Checks for Busy Moms to get a little direction!

You Need to See the Small Things

This is part of that extra effort. You have to cultivate a grateful spirit and an observant eye because that’s what you want to pass along. To point out the natural rewards of a job well done, you have to see them for yourself! 

You have to notice the sunshine-fresh smell of line-dried clothes. You have to rejoice over every apple blossom and red strawberry. You have to be excited over each new lamb or basket of fresh eggs. You have to see the wrestling potential of a cleaned playroom floor, and the painting opportunity of a scrubbed porch in the summer sun.

Because here’s the only catch…

You Need to Take Time to Show Them

You have to teach them to see it, to value it, to appreciate it…and you can’t teach what you don’t know.

The extra time and effort comes from working alongside your children and being primed to point all these things out to them. You have to take the extra moments each day while weeding to walk through and point out every new shoot and talk about the great food you’ll make with that bean.

You have to walk through the flower beds and show them each baby plant poking up, each bud swelling, each flower blooming..and talk about how unique and beautiful each one is. How looking at them is a feast for the eyes and a treasure from the Creator to remind us of His grace and power, but also His provision.

You have to remind them of the compliments they received for dressing their best at God’s house as they hang their clothes up. The reward for personal neatness and cleanliness is receiving respect for our thoughts and behaviors and opportunities to serve because people are not distracted by our dress and demeanor.

You have to give them a vision of the future–where the playroom is cleaned so they can wrestle, play trucks, build blocks, or make forts. A vision of new toys at Christmas because there is room when the old ones are put away neatly. A vision of new books and electronics when they take care of the ones they have…

That’s the natural rewards for their work!

There are layers and layers of goodness for them to enjoy right there from the proverbial sweat of their brow. Or the real sweat of their brow–depending on what chore you assigned! {smile}