So, I totally missed my own fledging link up last week and then missed posting on my favorite day of the week for Thankful on a Thursday too. Where was I? What life crisis, farm crisis, family crisis kept me from my keyboard? Well, as you read this we’re almost home from a whirlwind trip to Wisconsin for my Great-Grandma’s 90th birthday party. Yep, we drove 23 hours to WI in January. In a truck with 3 kids under 7. Had a great time at the party! Then we turned around and headed 23 hours back home.
The whole thing went pretty smoothly, considering. Except for the icy and snow in VA when we left and getting stuck on an unplowed County road in WV at 1:00 am on Thursday morning. Mr. Fix-It, you’re my hero.
Oh, yeah, and a brief overnight in Kent, OH when the shaft inside the power steering pump broke and Hemi was in the Dodge garage for 12 hours. $600 later, Kent Dodge Service Center, you’re my hero. (Minivan shuttle that only has 4 seats, not so much.)
Oh, yeah, and that time when we accidentally got off the turnpike when we weren’t supposed to and had to immediately turn around. Nice tollbooth lady–ok, ok, both of you–you’re my heroes. (My sister texting me directions? Not so much. Ok, just kidding, Cheese!)
Oh yeah, and all our hotel neighbors that didn’t complain about our boys galloping around beating each other up with their pillow pets all night, you’re pretty cool too. (Person that did complain? Well, how was I supposed to know they would use their TAG reader headphones as lassos and have a rodeo while I was in the shower?)
But all that trip drama just leads me to remember that I haven’t shown you the pictures from Speedracer’s 3rd birthday a week ago.
My baby turned 3. As in 3 years old. Ugh! My heart can’t take it. Not so much because he’s 3 now. I mean, he didn’t change overnight. Development changes don’t magically synch with birthdays. He’s pretty much the same this week as he was the week before his birthday.
But 3 years is a long time when it seems like just yesterday I realized I was pregnant. It wasn’t like the first time we were pregnant. This time we had two children–one whom was only a few months old. This time I was deeply depressed and apathetic from losing my parents, as well as physically exhausted from mothering a newborn. This time my marriage was very stressed, from the depression, from the exhaustion, from the cares of life.
Can I admit that I wasn’t excited about it? Oh, how it breaks my heart with shame to look back and see how deeply I questioned God’s plan for us. How I wanted to wait after the Cowboy for more children. Or maybe not even have any more because I already had my hands full and my heart broken and I just couldn’t take any more stress in my life. And now we see how much he has blessed our family. How much laughter he has brought to our lives. How perfectly he “fits” into our family life.
Now we see how perfect God’s plan is. Now we see that more children might not be in our future regardless of what we want or don’t want. We see that if we had followed our own plan and wait a year or two after the Cowboy we might never have had another child at all. We see how having 3 children, having 2 boys, is challenging us to grow as parents. As people. To see their unique personalities…to respect their individuality…to learn patience times 3.
Oh, my little gift from God…my little blessing that He wanted us to have so badly…Happy Birthday!
I’m so glad He knows best.
