A Sacred History — 10 Comments

  1. Perfectly said. Nowadays I think that people end their marriages without even trying To work on it. I strongly feel that a marriage is for a lifetime.

    • I agree, people give up to easy. I think so much of it’s that grass is greener mentality. People give up because they they want to move on to something else–as if that’s going to be magically better! We say that we value personal growth, but so often we only mean it if it’s easy or fun. We’re not fans of growing through pain. 🙂 It’s true that nothing last forever–but people mistakenly apply that to their love instead of their circumstances. Good times never last forever, but neither do the bad times.

  2. Hmmm…you haven’t read Sacred Marriage, by any chance, have you? I was just thinking about this idea of a sacred history after hearing some comments by other celebrities. I don’t know why I was surprised by this breakup when so many celebrities break up, but I was.

    I do think people give up waaaayyy too easily nowadays and it just breaks my heart. What if it got better on the other side of the struggle???? They will never know now…

    • I have and I keep my well worn copy next to my bed! I thought it was a bit of a tough read because it’s not just a feel-good self-help book. It was a lot for me to take in and digest. But I highly recommend it to everyone. I thought Sacred Parenting was good too, but Sacred Marriage has spoken to me much more where I am in life right now.

  3. Beautifully said! I am saddened as well – I always thought they might be the exception to the rule!!

    Love your wedding photos! We’ll be celebrating 9 years in June!

    • I’m still hoping they are and we’ll see a feel good story about them getting back together after she has some time to herself to work things out. There have been times I thought I needed space to figure out my own issues. I’m so grateful that I found that space or that answer within our home, though, and not through separation. Rarely does “separation” bring people back together–anyone that’s been married more than a couple years knows that you can go through emotional and physical withdrawal and separation under the same roof as easily as if someone moved out. “Separation” like this is usually just the next step down the road to divorce.

      The book The Four Seasons of Marriage gave me a lot of insight to this. Dealing with depression can cause a Winter season of marriage very easily. And I love Gary Thomas’ idea that you’re either “falling towards” each other or “falling away” from each other.

  4. You are very wise. It’s hard to believe you are only coming up on your tenth anniversary. You feel many of the same things we feel about our marriage after 23 years.

    • We’ve faced a lot in our 10 short years! 🙂

      While there’s no family story with a perfect ending, we both come from a long history of strong commitment and it makes a huge difference. I didn’t grow up talking about biblical principles as biblical principles a lot. But looking back now, as I develop a stronger biblical worldview, I see that our family lived by so many of them and just never called them that. We don’t just strive to be and stay married, our family’s marriages illustrate becoming one. My parents didn’t have separate bank accounts, separate vehicle titles, separate hobbies, or take separate vacations. Everything was joint. Everything was shared. Together.

      That might not work for everyone or every situation, but it gets back to that 1,000 threads. When times get rough and those threads start snapping from the pressure, you better hope you’ve got some serious multi-ply weave going on! Sometimes it the very idea of divorce that is unfathomable–and sometimes it’s just the idea of going to the DMV to get all the car titles separated that snaps you back from whatever foolishness crept in.

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