My heart has been heavy lately..slow, sluggish…tired and weighed down. The world is full of careworn souls, hard hearts, and weary homes.
We chase after HAPPINESS as if it is a hidden city and our whole lives purposed only to find it–this mythical place where all bad things are gone and the act of simply desiring something justifies it as “good” or “right.” This wondrous place where having the right to choose, somehow equates to actually choosing right. This place where we get to choose both our action and our consequences–as if we are a lone entity in the world, the ramifications of our journey on others defined only by ourselves.
I was sick for a few days…that physical drain always makes me a little maudlin.
Sometimes my heart breaks for people for the very reason that their heart is not broken for themselves.
And my heart breaks for people whose heart and soul are broken, because you can not climb the mountain without first passing through the valley–and it can be a long, cold walk. And sometimes the climb isn’t much more fun.
And my heart breaks for the people that get to the top, and look around for that hidden city and realize that there is no such place. And all that baggage that you hauled through that valley…and up that mountain…is still sitting right next to you. And there’s just another mountain in front of you. Or that same old valley and that same old mountain behind you. You can only control your actions, you can’t control your consequences. Sin wounds and leaves scars.
Freedom is found in the right to choose, but Peace is only found when you choose right.
It’s a hard lesson.
“Give glory to the Lord your God, before he cause darkness, and before your feet stumble upon the dark mountains, and, while ye look for light, he turn it into the shadow of death, and make it gross darkness. But if ye will not hear it, my soul shall weep in secret places for your pride; and mine eye shall weep sore, and run down with tears, because the Lord’s flock is carried away captive.” (Jeremiah 13:17-18)
My heart breaks for how many time I have stood on that mountain, humbled to see nothing but more mountains, more valleys…no magic city of HAPPINESS in view.
But it’s ok to hurt sometimes.
“Therefore also now, saith the Lord, turn ye even to me with all your heart, and with fasting, and with weeping, and with mourning: And rend your heart, and not your garments, and turn unto the Lord your God: for he is gracious and merciful, slow to anger, and of great kindness, and repenteth him of the evil.” (Joel 2:12-13)
It’s ok to be broken-hearted for others.
“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” (Romans 12:15)
It’s ok to be wrong, and have to start all over again. His mercies are new each morning.
Are you facing some mountains right now? Walking through the valley? It’s ok. Sometimes we struggle. But His mercies are new every morning. Bring it to the Lord and lay it down.
I’ve been spending a lot of time on my knees lately, how can I pray for you today?